Reflection

Reflection

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Fixing a hole...

Another continuing saga with our elderly parents....if you haven't read this you may want to so that you understand what I am writing about......previous post.

Today is just one of those days with FBM,  who decided to abscond MBM and dear Love had to intervene along with a local policeman at the Assisted Care Home she lives at...this is the song I thought of because everyday another hole is made by a very confused, agitated, irrational, volatile, paranoid elderly man, ....catching all this?  Seems that no matter what,  the story will have an unhappy ending as he can't understand or accept that his wife will never be where she once was and will always need care that he can't provide because of his frailty.   Worse still is that his Dr. can't do anymore to help as he doesn't think FBM is incompetent enough to need care himself which floors all of us.  He can't write very well anymore, and can't comprehend or understand verbal dialog except when a part of his brain flips to the up side and he more or less ends the discussion of where he thinks his wife, our mom, needs to be. Then there are the endless phone calls that start bright and early in the morning to his kids of wanting to move her home, not move her home, move her to a V.A. Hospital, change Dr.'s as he doesn't trust her Dr., wants his gun back (another story), thinks his son stole the gun and calls the local police on him (he is doing this almost every other day and the police are getting tired of him calling), he sobs, he wails, he yells and yet the Dr. can't help us except to turn this all over to Social Workers and even that is a whole different can of worms.  


It is a lovely sunny day, I just had our daughter and her fiance visiting for a few days and they have just flown back to the East Coast, youngest daughter came to visit as well and middle daughter hung out with all of us too.  Life can be sweet and I am looking at that rather than the dismal saga that dredges on with FBM.  I love the hugs my children, my adult children share with me.  That is comfort medicine of the best kind.  I am glad that they all had the chance to visit with MBM while they were here as I know this brightened her day.  Hold close your love ones, tell them, show them....and in the meantime we will continue to plug the holes that keep erupting in the aging parents.




I'm fixing a hole where the rain gets in
And stops my mind from wandering
Where it will go

I'm filling the cracks that ran through the door
And kept my mind from wandering
Where it will go

And it really doesn't matter if I'm wrong I'm right
Where I belong I'm right
Where I belong.

See the people standing there who disagree and never win
And wonder why they don't get in my door
I'm painting my room in the colourful way

And when my mind is wandering
There I will go
And it really doesn't matter if I'm wrong I'm right
Where I belong I'm right
Where I belong.

Silly people run around they worry me
And never ask me why they don't get past my door
I'm taking the time for a number of things
That weren't important yesterday
And I still go

I'm fixing a hole where the rain gets in
And stops my mind from wandering
Where it will go

4 comments:

Ms. Moon said...

It sort of never, ever ends, does it?
Great choice of hymn to accompany your service today.

Ellen said...

Mary......It's our new nightmare...just as my mom's seems to be on autopilot (in a weird way) we now are in a new chapter of the "Sandwich years".

Angella Lister said...

this period is so hard. watching our parents age and lost the ability to do for themselves is the most heartbreaking thing.

on the brighter side, how wonderful your children.

Birdie said...

I have no idea what to say. It is so frustrating when doctors hold everything up. They see a patient for what ?? 10 minutes and make decisions that have irreparable impacts.
I do recommend you start writing down all the unusual behaviour. Where I live there is Home & Community Care and Seniors Outreach. Is there anything similar to where you live. Keep making noise and you will get heard.

xoxo

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