Reflection

Reflection

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

What Lies Beneath

I slept horribly that night following my surgery.  Even with all the pillow support and the sling holding my dead weight arm in place I couldn't help but think I would wake up in agony.  Instead I would wake up and hope I would just fall back to sleep.  I touched my fingers which still had no feeling and I couldn't decide if it was better to not feel a thing or to have pain.  Pain doesn't sound good but the absence of feeling is just odd.
After tossing and turning most of the night, giving my Love a bad night's sleep as well, I lay in bed with no discomfort.  I looked at my new 'cast' that was so much bigger than the previous one.  The new sling  snugly covered my arm, which felt just as heavy as the day before.  Still no discomfort as I expected.   Just the same I took the pain medication to be ahead of whatever may happen.  

Around noon time I began to have some feeling in my thumb.  It was tingly but at least feeling had come back.   I really worried that I would never be able to feel my arm which just flopped around if I wasn't careful.  Good reason to keep the sling on!  As the day went on gradually all feeling was restored.  Pain was not bad whatsoever.  I lay in bed, watched TV and was waited on which felt really good but I am not a TV/layaround person so I was bored.  The family were going over to my sister by marriage's home where my daughter K. was fixing a special Mexican meal.  I wanted to go but really felt  and was encouraged to just take it easy.  

Good thing I didn't go as the next day late in the afternoon I started to feel kind of off.  By Monday morning I was feeling really sick to my stomach.   I must of picked up a virus and now I was nauseous as well as severely constipated.  The medication in addition had plugged me up.  What a day.  My daughter K. and her boyfriend B. were to leave that day to head up to Washington state and I once again could not enjoy there being at home.  I just kept thinking why is all this going on?  

Let's see, a pity party is forming in my head.  My mom is in the Geri-Psych ward, I just had wrist surgery, I have a stomach virus and on top of that constipation.  I sent my daughter E. off to get me some kind of a laxative.  I am extremely grateful for having E. here to do this.  I am home alone the rest of the day as my Love has the big job to do, R. is at school, E. had to go back to work and K. has left.  I was so weak and miserable.  Every so often I managed to go to the kitchen and drink water and I somehow managed to even warm some broth up which helped my strength. 

Gratitude is when you begin to feel better.

As the week went on I felt more like me as and I was getting use to wearing that 'Tree Trunk' cast on my arm.  I was  looking forward to my Dr. visit on the Friday coming up.  At the office my Dr. comes in asks how the week has been and then says he will remove the cast/splint which I have had on exactly one week.   Today I will get another cast!   If felt weird as he removed it but nothing like when it was gone. 
The weakness of my arm, the discomfort and the queasiness of looking at the long incision just about made me shake.   Next was new x-rays of my wrist with all the gadgets inside.  I couldn't wait to see what was underneath my skin.  Boy was my arm sore!  I couldn't believe how uncomfortable I would be and I now wish I had taken something before I came.  I  asked the nurse if I could have copies of the x-rays as I knew the family would enjoy seeing my new hardware.
Next Dan the Tech. calls me in and says he is going to put my new cast on. I ask him if they have any Advil and he found some for me to take.  At least in a half hour I should have some relief.   He asks what color cast I would like and after a brief time of joking with him I decided on bright pink.  Yes it was bright, more like Hot Pink.  I was glad to have the support back on my wrist and the warmth of the cast being put on felt soothing.
So here is what is inside my arm.  We have looked at these x-rays and marveled at what I have inside me now and forever.  I had no idea that many screws would need to be used or that it would be as large a T plate as it is.  I am grateful that I have this Dr. who did such a fine job as well.


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2 comments:

Ms. Moon said...

Lord, woman! Orthopedics is carpentry, isn't it? I can't believe all of that is inside of your arm!
This all sounds so miserable, but I suppose as best as it can be. I think it sounds like having to be dependent on others is the worst part for you. It would be for me. We have no idea how important our smallest independences are, do we?
Heal.

Elisabeth said...

Oh dear, Ellen. How lovely to meet you and what a terrible tale. I feel all goosey inside. It brings back such memories, though I was lucky, I didn't need surgery.

I must now scroll back and find out how your break happened.

We could start up a broken bones blog, you and I. It's a horrible experience but you learn so much.

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