Saturday, June 18, 2011

Being lonely

           I am on day three of being alone.

     I am not use to this at all.

     I have been married for almost 34 years (this July!) and my Love and I have almost, except for the two weeks he went to Mexico (who he and R. are with right now near Joshua Trees) but I had M. and R. at home at that time, so I really wasn't alone.  Now I am alone...A. L. O. N. E.....

     What have I been up to?  Oh much.  Let's see...on Thursday I went shopping.  Girl stuff.  Shoes...didn't find any.  I hate shoe shopping.  I did find some cute capris though.

     Thursday night I had it all planned to try a new recipe.  Oh I bought everything I needed at Whole Foods, stuff like Garbanza flour...what is garbanza flour?

 Garbanzo Flour is a protein-rich flour made from dried chick-peas (garbanzo beans). Oh...

     I came home and read the recipe at 6:00 PM and realized I couldn't fix that recipe tonight.  I saw it in Sunset Magazine called "Chickpea Cakes with Fava Leaves and Arugula Salad".  Sounded good and healthy and I wanted to make something I knew the boys wouldn't eat.  I couldn't find Fava Leaves so I substituted spinach leaves which was an option.  I decided since it would need to chill for awhile that I would start the recipe and have it the next night.  This is what it looked like before I put it in the fridge to chill.  I have to say I sampled the "dough" of chickpea flour and it tasted yucky.  I was hoping that once it was cooked it would taste wonderful.

    This put the other Sunset recipe up for dinner called "Spiced Lemon Quinoa".  I made some changes and would still make some other changes now that I have tried it.  It presented well and I enjoyed the flavor though it seemed dry.  

     I sat outside with the poochies as it was a lovely evening.  

     Friday found me off to visit my mom and then to do some errands afterwords.  Mission accomplished!  Did laundry and managed to change all the beds and wash Annie (my Golden poochie).  

     I was excited to try the Chickpea thing and took it out of the fridge.  The recipe told me to invert it onto a cutting board, where once inverted I am to slice into triangles and then I will lightly fry in olive oil.  My inverting went PLOP!  It did not firm up and was just disgusting.  I felt like I was cleaning up doggie vomit.  (Sorry for the graphic word.)  Dinner became fresh eggs from our hens, scrambled with toast and homemade strawberry jam.  Yeah!  I really wanted the eggs anyway.  Forget that recipe!

     I watched "So You Think You Can Dance" that we had on the DVR and then crawled into bed with Stewie.  It was breezy and the house was creaky.  I couldn't sleep and I kept seeing Stewie with his ears all perked up like he was hearing something.  Finally after a half hour I fell to sleep and Stewie went to his own bed.

    Today cleaned house.  I also realized I am not talking much.  Is this what happens when you are all alone?  I find myself (I do this anyway) talking to the dogs about what I am doing..."I'm going to vacuum the kitchen", "I'm going to clean the bathroom"...on and on...and I don't like that I have no "person" to talk to.  I miss my boys....   :(

     I decide that I am going to take out the old home movies and watch them.  The really old ones.  This is my desk and all my movie stuff out:

       I found that the bulb to the projector is out and find the replacement one we have stored.  Low and behold it too is out.  Bummer.   I have an editing machine and thankfully the bulb in it works!

      So here I have sat and gone through a gazillion home movies.  Not as easy to watch as this is an editing unit and the clarity is how fast you are turning the wheel.  Too fast and it is a blur, to slow and the film comes off the gear wheel.  Movie magic happens as I spin away.....

      I thought I would look up the price of a replacement bulb.  ebay....$50!!!!  Crazy!!!!  Note the price of this bulb on the box.  I wonder what year that was?

     I realize it is getting late and the poochies are looking at me wondering "when is she going to feed us?".

    I feed the critters, get the fresh eggs from the hens for today and grab a bottle of vino from the wine cellar.  Hey, no reason I can't have a nice glass of wine!  I pick this Papa use to buy BV ...seems like a good choice.

     I had marinated a chicken breast simply in soy sauce and thought I would grill it on our panini grill.  I rarely use this and I know why.  Cleaning is a pain.  Still the chicken breast came out lovely!  I toasted a slice of rustic wheat bread, brushed a bit of mayo on it, added sliced avocado on top of the chicken breast and sliced some tomatoes with a little kosher salt and fresh ground pepper.  Voila!

     Simple and utterly perfect for me tonight.  The poochies kept me company on the deck for another lovely ourselves....   :(  (miss the boys)

     So here are my companions...Annie

     And Mr. Stewie.....

     I mean, really...aren't they just the cutest...dinner companions?

     Let's see...I have two more dinners alone...thank goodness E. and I will go see a movie tomorrow!  I will have a real live human being to be with!  I get to go to my sister by marriage for breakfast tomorrow for Father's Day...not with my honey...but waffles!  Hhhhhmmmm.  And people!!!!

     Miss my boys....did I say that already?   Guess I better clean up the movie stuff....I was going to watch Toy Story 3 but it is getting late and I was woken up this morning by Luna (our kitty) purging somewhere near the bedroom.  Lovely...


Sebc "Brad's" Adventures said...

Guess since the rent's are away in another land far away, I should have called you to chat and then also looks like it took a lot to take them pictures and write this blog. amazing ya'll still have that old projector. I wonder if my parents still have theirs to watch the old movies of me and Kenney way back in the day. Well, T and R will be back soon, and me, well, still trying to figure this lonely thing out.

Ms. Moon said...

I love these pictures, these windows into your life.
It's okay to be lonely. For me, at least. Actually, being alone for me is not loneliness. It is loveliness.
Enjoy your uninterrupted time. Be kind to YOU since you are the only one there to be kind to.

Ellen said...

Brad....had no idea those stupid bulbs would become "antique"! Why else would they cost so much to buy and not available at a store? So though I have a movie projector I can't use it till I find a bulb. Back in the box and under the cupboard it goes. Oh the home movies are great!

I converted all the "ancient" ones of K. when she was itty bitty onto DVD...these are older...

I have a new appreciation for anyone on their own. I just have always had someone in the house, namely my significant other and a child/teen. I am looking at this as another lesson in life.

Sara Louise said...

Annie and Mr Stewie look like great company! My husband is gone quite a bit for work and so I'm along, for long long days and some nights. I find that I talk to my dog a lot. But I try to talk in French... you know for the practice :-)

Ellen said...

Mary....I think I found that if you are alone you have to make the effort to do cooking, not convenient foods, but ones that you have to enjoy the process of making. Just as if you had others to cook for. I have enjoyed doing stuff that I haven't done in awhile and not have time constraints except for the critters.

Sara...I talk to the dogs a lot. They are my poochie buddies! I LOVE them!!! Sometimes they look at me funny though....they must think I am weird.

On the whole I don't like to be alone for long. But for this 6 days I did okay. If fact the time went by quick.


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