I'm trying to find the magic time to write when my mind is open and the house is quiet. One would think with only two in the house that it is quiet. It just seems that I have been doing the humdrum home care as well as enjoying the time while my middle daughter E. was visiting us. One's children fly home and that is the time to savor with them. My time will come.....
I've been reading blogs of others I've neglected. I use to be able to read them with my morning coffee and then the past year swept that time and my heart away. Sort of like listening to the radio in the car and singing with gusto. I'm still enjoying the quiet of sitting in the car. I find this odd but I'm going with it. It's sort of comforting to drive along hearing the subtle sounds my car makes which isn't a lot as it is a hybrid. I still sing at times, but I'm getting annoyed with the radio stations when they start playing the same songs that I hear a bit too much of. Yes, I could bring the iPod.
What thoughts transpire these days.....
I am amazed with the fact that my son is so far away. Yes, I of course! He is in college! It's just such an odd feeling, me the mother of four, the last one gone and I am just swirling this around and around in my head of how this affects me.
I wonder if he misses us.
Does he think about us?
What does he miss most of all?
When I left home I was ready and packed as soon as I had a place to go. But I had a Dr. Jeckll and Mr. Hyde mom that on one hand could be loving and dear and then be all over me over absolutely nothing. So yes, I was ready to get out of the house. I choose to go to a nearby college and since my Papa was a Developer and his business was also managing apartments that they owned, I moved into one of his apartments when I graduated from high school. Quite the big step and we picked out furniture for the apartment from a recent closing of Model Homes that his company had built. One special piece of furniture did not come from there. My Love, my boyfriend all those years ago, had made me a lovely round oak table with claw feet.
I knew nothing of cooking. Thank goodness for my Love and his mom who had us over for dinner many a night. That and the many afternoons I would go to her house, have tea and have the best woman to woman talks. I cooked strange combinations of food. Certainly not balanced. My parents would take me out as well from time to time. I had a lot to learn of being on my own.
My Love and I had a love nest. It was wonderful to be with him in the evening, sort of like I imagined married life might be. I would do my homework and he would be reading in bed. Then I would turn out the lights and snuggle with him, night after night after night.....
My time away from home is far different than my son and that is fine by me.
The writing....I want to dance with my thoughts! Like having a waltz playing and my fingers and thoughts are like a dancer's feet, they tap and are ready. Who will take my hand? Out on the floor I will step and be caught up in the motion that will sweep me along.
Like the song "To Be Surprised", that I will be....whatever flows will flow.
Very soon we will be back East, exactly where we were two years ago to the date of our daughter K. and her hubby B.'s wedding!
I'm looking forward to walking in the field they were married in. To see the changing colors just as we did and let my mind fill with the sweet memories of that whole wedding trip.