Mmmmm comfort food...

Comfort food....oh today I need comfort food.  I have no idea why curry gives me comfort.  I am not Indian or Thai yet the aroma of curry and coconut has this way of making me feel hugged.  I love to wake up the next morning still with the aroma of these two scents in my home.

I am sharing a wonderful soup that spells comfort out so well.  C-o-m-f-o-r-t...try it and tell me if you feel the same way.....

Curried Carrot Coconut Soup

2 T butter
1 small onion (I like a sweet one)
2 garlic cloves, pressed or minced
4 tsp curry powder or paste
1 tsp kosher salt, (not table salt!)
2 lb. organic carrots, chopped
4 C good chicken broth
2 cans (15 oz each) coconut milk
1/2 C plain yogurt, homemade preferably


1.  Melt butter in a large soup pot over medium high heat.  Cook onion, garlic, curry powder, and salt until fragrant, stirring often, about 2 minutes.  Add carrots and broth and cook, covered, until very tender, about 12 minutes.

2.  Puree soup until very smooth, using a blender and working in batches.  Stir in coconut milk and heat until hot.  Serve in bowls of soup with a dollop of the yogurt on top.

Breathe in the lovely smell of curry and coconut and r-e-l-a-x.......

The best parts of Mother's Day for me

I had a baby in my house for this weekend, my 9 month old great-niece E.

To hear the sounds of a baby in the morning was music to my ears and to my Love's as well!

She was here with her mommy and daddy to come and see her Great-Nana for the first time and we all had such high hopes for this.

This is my nephew K. with E. riding high on her daddy's shoulders.  Safe and secure as she tugs his hair.  My nephew who grew up from the little boy playing rough and tumble with his brothers.  He is a wonderful daddy, this I can see.  He is "hands on" as they say and I think of my Love and I in our first year as a mommy and daddy with our daughter K.,  our first child.  So much to learn about each other.

Her is E. with her beautiful mommy R.  Look at those smiles....

Miss E. with her daddy and my Love...oh he was so happy to play with a baby! 

Then there is E. and me.  Do I look happy or what?

My middle daughter E. came with a yummy, delicious, multi-layer cake that had a raspberry filling between the layers of the most moist white cake with a hint of lemon flavor topped with a lighter than air frosting that she torched!  Great fun to watch her handle a blow torch of my Love's.

My youngest daughter is in Rome so sadly we will not have her around...miss you M...knowing you must be seeing such wonderful places and delicious food.

These words that from a letter my daughter K. that she sent to me...just a snippet from what she wrote,  that touched me deeply....


I am grateful for the womb I inhabited in your body. I know it was a good place, being there with you. It was there that I began, dreaming. It is there I return, in Bret's arms while sleeping, in the forest under an embracing tree, in a hot bath that steams my being to stillness.

"I'm thankful

I'm grateful

To Spirit

To be alive"

I rained blossoms of compassion onto you tonight.
I sang a poem to you tonight.
I held you like you have held me a thousand times. 




 

Dawn's light

Awakenings...my ears were awoken first.  The birds so loudly singing that it felt like I was in another place, not my bed, warm and cozy.  The birds were uproarious!  My eyes opened to see that first morning blue pink of the sky.  Still more dark than light.  The hills beyond my windows dark in shadow of morning's soon to come sunrise.  How full and crowded it felt yet I saw no birds only heard their chattering chirps.  A melody here and there.  A chorus of creatures intent on singing a song of life.


I lie in quiet peace knowing I needn't leave my nest where my Love and I have slept and dreamt.  He has not stirred.  The night was so warm that both my windows have been flung open to the outside world.  The first night of the new season of Spring that I could do this.  There are no curtains or shades upon my windows.  One large picture window and the smaller one that share two windows that crank open.  I have covered them from time to time but no one can see in our room and I have chosen to keep them uncovered.  Only nature and the sunrise, the birds, the deer, the busy bees that had been on the blossoming flowers of the crab apple tree that have all fallen now but whom will come again when the lavender blooms.  


As I fall asleep I look at the sky, to the hills beyond that rise up to the mountain I hold dear.  I see the lights of homes in the distance.  My mind relaxes and is lulled into the other place I live of the dream world.  When I was plagued with insomnia I would look out these windows, staring mindlessly, hoping that my eyes and mind would release and fall into slumber.  All quiet but me.  Then I realized that the insomnia had passed and I was finally able to fall as quickly to sleep as it took me to lay upon my pillow.  On then off.  Sleep....

Mornings feel lovely when you have a good night's sleep.  I no longer use my alarm clock to wake me as my dog's do this almost on the dot of 6:05.  I may not always want to climb down from my bed, and I do mean climb as it is a high bed where my toes do not reach the floor.  My dogs stretch, I stretch and I am followed to my closet to get my robe.  Each morning is unique and lovely this time of year.  The other morning while out with the dogs I heard a lone woodpecker pounding away.  A dove cooed.  The other birds had not started in on their morning song.  The air smells light and fresh, the coolness that awakens my eyes and body to come alive for the day.  
What comes to my mind is Cat Steven's singing Morning Has Broken ....


Morning has broken, like the first morning
Blackbird has spoken, like the first bird
Praise for the singing, praise for the morning
Praise for the springing fresh from the word


Sweet the rain's new fall, sunlit from heaven
Like the first dewfall, on the first grass
Praise for the sweetness of the wet garden
Sprung in completeness where his feet pass


Mine is the sunlight, mine is the morning
Born of the one light, Eden saw play
Praise with elation, praise every morning
God's recreation of the new day

Good morning world!

To Spring

In dedication to Arleen...because she felt nature and all it's beauty.

To Spring

 O thou with dewy locks, who lookest down

Through the clear windows of the morning, turn

Thine angel eyes upon our western isle,

Which in full choir hails thy approach, O Spring!

 

The hills tell one another, and the listening

Valleys hear; all our longing eyes are turn'd

Up to thy bright pavilions: issue forth

And let thy holy feet visit our clime!

 






Come o'er the eastern hills, and let our winds

Kiss thy perfumèd garments; let us taste

Thy morn and evening breath; scatter thy pearls

Upon our lovesick land that mourns for thee.

 

O deck her forth with thy fair fingers; pour

Thy soft kisses on her bosom; and put

Thy golden crown upon her languish'd head,

Whose modest tresses are bound up for thee. 

 






~William Blake~

Chicken Tagine with Apricots and Almonds

Want to try a delicious Moroccan spiced dish?  This is a favorite of my son's.  This goes very well over Basmati rice.  It may seem like a lot to do for this dish but I will break it down for the ease of preparation.

I don't own a Tagine dish to cook this in, I use a 12 inch round deep skillet that I can put a lid on and it works wonderfully.


Chicken Tagine with Apricots and Almonds

Step #1
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1 tsp ground ginger
1/2 tsp tumeric 
1/2 tsp ground black pepper
1 tsp salt
2 T canola oil
1 large package of 6 boneless thighs


Stir together ground cinnamon, ginger, turmeric, pepper, salt,  and the oil into a large bowl.  Add chicken and turn to coat well.


Step #2
1 T butter
1 T olive oil
Pam

Heat butter and olive oil in skillet that has been sprayed with Pam, uncovered, over moderate heat until hot but not smoking.  Brown half of chicken, turning over once, about 4 - 8 minutes.  Transfer to a plate and cover with foil to keep warm.  Brown remaining chicken in same manner.  Set aside.

Step #3
1 yellow or red onion (I prefer yellow), halved and sliced 1/4  inch thick
4 cloves of garlic
1/4 tsp salt
small bundle of parsley tied with string
1/2 C chicken broth


Add onion and salt to skillet and cook on medium to low heat, uncovered, stirring frequently, until onion is soft, about 8 minutes.  Add garlic that is minced and cook, stirring occasionally for 3 minutes. Tie parsley into a bundle and add to skillet along with 1/2 C chicken broth and any juices accumulated with chicken on plate.  Reduce heat and simmer, covered for 30 minutes. 

Step #4
1 C chicken broth
2 T honey
1 (3-inch) cinnamon stick
1/2 C dried Turkish apricots, cut in half


While chicken cooks, bring honey and broth, cinnamon stick, and apricots to a boil in a 1 qt heavy saucepan, then reduce heat and simmer, uncovered, until apricots are very tender (add more water if necessary).  Once apricots are tender, simmer until liquid is reduced to a glaze, 10 - 15 minutes.

Step #5
1/3 C whole blanched almonds that are toasted

Step #6
Ten minutes before chicken is done, add apricot mixture to skillet.  Discard herbs and cinnamon stick, then serve chicken sprinkled with almonds on top. 

Place a serving of Basmati rice on a plate and top with this aromatic dish.  The smell of the spices while this cooks it just heavenly!

Ole!

We had soft tacos the other night.  I am fifty-fifty on buying tortillas or making my own.  It depends on if it is a quick put together dinner or one I have a bit more time on my hands.  It is only when making them that I realize I should always make them!  They are not hard to do at all, you don't need a tortilla press which I don't own.

Here is my recipe that I use from the cookbook Savoring the Southwest, Symphony Guild Cookbook, Roswell New Mexico.  Yes, that is my birth town and my mom bought this cookbook for me a while back.

Flour Tortillas

4 C. flour
1  1/2 tsp. salt
1  1/2 tsp. baking powder
4 T. shortening
1 1/2 C. warm water

In a mixing bowl combine dry ingredients.  Cut in the shortening till very blended.  Add warm water a small amount at a time, to form a dough.  On a lightly floured pastry cloth gently knead the dough.  Don't over knead or the tortillas will get tough, just till smooth and elastic.

Cover and let stand 10 to 15 minutes.

Divide dough into 12 egg-sized balls.  I put them back in the bowl while I prepare them for cooking.   On the lightly floured pastry cloth, roll out each ball with a rolling pin covered with a pastry sock and lightly floured, to 6 -7 inches or about 1/8 inch thick.  You don't need to make them perfectly round, these are homemade!

Cook on a hot ungreased griddle or skillet about 2 minutes on each side.  I usually know to turn them as they begin to get air bubbles forming and that is when I turn them.  There should be a just a big of browning on those bubble spots.  While one tortilla is cooking I roll out another one and keep this rhythm of roll, cook, flip, roll, cook, flip going.  I use a tortilla warmer to keep them warm until served.

These tortillas will not spring a hole, tear or fall apart like ones you buy in the grocery store.  They are delicious!  Quite agreed by my son at the table that I should not ever buy tortillas again, at which, my Love agreed.



Another recipe I use is for Taco seasoning.  I don't buy those little mixes as I worry about the additives they put in it, not to mention once again, it is so easy to make your own.

Taco Seasoning

Mix together in a small bowl:

1 T. chili powder
1/4 tsp. garlic powder
1/4 tsp. onion powder
1/4 tsp oregano
1/2 tsp. paprica
1  1/2 tsp. cumin
1 tsp. sea salt
1 tsp. pepper


This can be doubled or tripled for future use and stored in small container.  After my beef or chicken is cooked I just add it and stir.  How much you add is up to your personal taste but I am generous when I use it.


Now get ready for Cinco de Mayo which is coming up next week by making your own tacos and seasoning!

Do I know myself?

Ever have thoughts of who you really are?  Do you really have a clear and honest vision of who you are?  


I go through doubts of who I think I am.  I mean I think I know who I am but sometimes situations arise and I begin to wonder if I am being misguided by my own thoughts!  Have I deluded myself into thinking I am a good wife?  Do I feel like I try hard to be Mrs. Cleaver?

Do I try to look nice, cook and clean with joie de vivre?  I have been married for almost 34 years this summer and I like to think that at least 75% of the time I do.  I haven't gone out in sweatpants to the grocery store yet and those lousy dinners that happen....well we just try not to repeat that recipe.  Cleaning?  Yes, I do change the sheets and towels every week but that is more for me because my Love doesn't seem to really mind if I just happen to not do it on day seven.  I make the bed every day but once again I appreciate it more than he does.  However....in recent years he has made the bed when I have had to be gone and he does a rather fine job if I do say so.  


I love the man.  I know I may not long cling to him every second (oh I did in those heated days!) he is in my sight and there have been days (oh yes!) when I realize we have not hugged!  Me saying not hug?  Oh, the lady who closes notes and offers hugs freely not hugging her man?  Of course we could throw it back to him and mention "Did you remember to hug your wife today?".   Heavens, have we been married so long that we need to remember to hug?  Have our days become so routine?


 Then my thoughts of my mothering.  Have I been a good mother?  Did I expect too much?  Not enough?  Did I teach them what they need to know about being on their own.  Well, I don't think I would be good at teaching them to be on their own seeing as how I was only on my own before marriage for about a year and I was living in sin a good hunk of that year.  


Did I love unconditionally always?  I was not a perfect mom but I tried.  I had no one to guide me those long days with first one child and then their were three in a blink of five years.  I read that stupid Dr. Spock like he was the official Mom authority.  He was a man!  Why would I think he knew diddly squat?  Those early years there was no "mother's groups".  I was on my own.  My mom was not the one to use or set an example of so I would not ask her for advice.  My mother by marriage was often babysitting her other grandchildren so I didn't ask her for help.  What I did learn was that I was learning to be a mom.  I had it within me, I just needed to believe in me.  That saying "Parenting is not for the faint of heart" is very true.  By the time I was pregnant with my second child I realized that I didn't need to follow stupid Dr. Spock.  I found other resources of natural parenting, having a midwife versus the traditional  male OBGYN.  I wasn't fully trusting my heart to have the birth at home but I was not going to have this child the way her sister came into the world.  

Pregnancy, childbirth pass quickly.  Rearing children is a lifetime.  Being prepared to do this and at the same time be a wife and friend is like being the head of the world!  So much to do constantly.  I did carve out time when my youngest daughter was three and my Love and I bought a horse for me to take care of.   I was out of the house and into the barn. Cleaning, bathing, tending (just like at home) but it was bliss.  The horse did not cry.  The horse may throw me to the ground and step on my foot but the horse did not cry or bargain.  The horse did create challenges but the horse was calming for me.

Having R. so many years later brought me to a place that was 100% + my heart's desire.  To have him was more bliss than I ever could have dreamed.  My Love and I, patiently waiting to find out that I was pregnant after several years, to waiting patiently for his birth, to the impatient time while giving birth and our wanting to hold our son in our arms.  I new me then.  I new that I was a good mother.  

I would watch him sleep, watch the flutter of his eyes and long eyelashes, his small puckering lips that suckled in his Land of Nod.  Breastfeeding him and not wanting it to end, only for the pleasure of holding him so close in my arms.  Staying awake in the night to rise and feed him, to change his wet diapers, kept me from thinking that I should long to crawl under the covers back in bed.    To see each phase of his growth first was joy at his accomplishment and then sorrow over knowing he was our last baby.   

But who am I?  Outside of being a mom and wife..... who am I?  My soul purpose in life is not to just please others.  I should be happy because within me I am a happy person.  That my being a happy person allows me to spread my happy feelings to others.  So if I am not fully happy, or no how to be fully happy, to let go strife or worry, how does this resolve in me?  Such confusion in my head!

My children...my dear children...I want to see fully happy and fulfilled in their lives.  The mother in me longs to fix any negatives in their lives.  I want them to be happy and if I sense that they may not be I go into full mommy mode.  My needs are not as important as my love ones!  Is this just me?  Do all mothers feel this?  

Then my Love....I want him happy.  I want him to do and go places he dreams of.  I want us to live our lives to the fullest for as long as we are able to walk out our door on two feet and if not on two feet then we will do it with whatever transportation we can.  In seeing loved ones in recent years lose that ability it has made me desire it all the more!  Why is it that when we are at our healthiest, most vibrant part of ours lives we can't afford or can't take the time to do just that?  I think I want too much.  We can make choices of what we want and my Love and I chose family and home versus only travel.  Still, even if we had chosen travel we still would have had to work to afford the travel.  It really does work out when I look at it more closely.  I would never, ever, have chosen travel over mothering.  To me that was the single most amazing journey in my life!  To have been blessed with the four most beautiful children that have given me every range of emotion, who I have watched and listened to, who have continued to teach me every day that I live...no I could never say no to that precious part of being a woman.  I was born to mother.  


I guess I am still learning who I am.  The letting go of who I was since I know longer am needed to rock and hold a baby.  I have a teen to mother still and will ride this phase of his life with all the waves it can throw at us.  I am a wife to a man who as been with me for 40 years.  He knew me as a teen.  He saw in me the woman, the wife and possible mother to our kids before I had thought about such thoughts.  I only saw him and how deeply I loved him.  How I felt safe and important with him.  He allowed me to grow up and stuck with me.  I don't know how he has put up with me sometimes.  I certainly have had baggage trailing behind me for years.  One by one the bags are falling away.  Maybe when those bags are fully gone I will know who I am!  I must be getting close to them being gone....perhaps down to the carry on and makeup bag....I hope so....